ranDUMB INSANEty
by xXFenrirXx
Summary: Beware all ye who enter here, abandon all hope of ever leaving with your sanity intact.
1. Ch 1: WASSSUP!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything that has to do with Super Smash

Bros. Melee. I don't even own Sora from Kingdom Hearts, but I

wish I did. The only things I own from the story are Banana Bob

and Coconut Carl. Pichu owns lollipop Larry.

**Ch. 1: WASSUP!**

It was a normal day in Smash Mansion. Birds were chirping

in the sky, butterflies were fluttering in the breeze, and a cute, little

bunny rabbit was hopping by.

Yep, everything was just fine…………

HAHAHAHA! JUST KIDDING!

"YOUNG LINK, NESS, POPO, AND NANA! DROP THAT

BO-OMB RIGHT NOW!" Master Hand roared.

"Fine, fine", Young Link said and then added under his

breath "stupid-grumpy-constipated-old glove."

But luckily Master Hand didn't hear that and was floating

down the hall.

Young Link turned to Ness, who was currently holding the

Bo-omb.

"Okay, we should get rid of the Bo-omb or else Mr. Stupid-

Grumpy-Constipated-Old Glove will get his brother to crap bombs

on us", said Young Link. (A/N: You know that move where Crazy

Hand floats over you and drops a bunch of bombs on you? Yeah,

that's what Y. Link is talking about. The first time I saw that move,

I thought he was crapping out bombs.)

"Okay", said Ness and proceeded to toss the Bo-omb over his

shoulder, down the hall, where it, fortunately, explodes into

Captain Falcon, knocking him out the conveniently placed window

and falling twenty-five feet before landing on Peach's rose garden.

But since I don't care about Captain Falcon, let's see what the

other Smashers are doing, shall we?

_With Pichu_

Pichu was waiting behind a tree, waiting for Pikachu.

_At last , I can get my revenge on Pikachu for killing my _

_lollipop. I shall avenge you Larry! _Pichu thought when she saw

Pikachu walking by.

Careful not to be seen by Pikachu, Pichu grabbed a metal

box, encasing herself in metal, slapped a motion-censor bomb on

her head, and charged her Skull-bash attack, waiting for the right

moment to strike. When Pikachu was in range, Pichu released her

Skull-bash. She went sailing through the air, smashing into

Pikachu. The motion-censor bomb went off, engulfing the lollipop-

murdering-yellow mouse in flames, while leaving Pichu unharmed.

While Pikachu went sailing through the air, still ablaze, Pichu

did her taunt where she's having a happy seizure on the ground.

Captain Falcon was walking to the entrance to the mansion

when a certain lollipop-murdering-still ablaze-yellow mouse

smashed into him, hopefully giving him a concussion.

_With Marth, Roy, and Link_

Marth, Roy, and Link were playing Mario Kart: Double Dash

when Crazy Hand floated in.

"WASSUP!" Yelled Crazy Hand.

"WASSSUP!" The three swordsmen yelled back.

"WASSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSSSUP!"

Then Sora (Kingdom Hearts) appeared out of nowhere.

"WASSSSSSSSSUP!" Sora yelled

"WASSSSSSSSSSUP!" Crazy Hand and the three

swordsmen yelled back.

"WASSSSSSSSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSSSSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSSSSSSSSUP!"

"WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUP!"

Then Kirby ran in.

"KETCHUP!" He yelled, holding up a ketchup bottle.

Then a banana POOFED out of nowhere.

"I'm Banana Bob! All bow down before me!" It yelled.

Then DK came in, ate Banana Bob, and then walked out.

Crazy Hand turned to Sora.

"wOULd yoU LikE To JoIn Us SmASHeRs?" Crazy Hand

crazily asked Sora.

Sora smiled his goofy smile that I love so much.

"Sure, why not."

Then Captain Falcon limped into the room

"Hey you", he said, pointing to Sora, "do you know any

healing magic? If so, then please heal me."

"Well…", Sora started to say.

**_Sora, if you heal Captain Falcon then you're not going to _**

_**be my favorite character anymore, said the authoress**_

****Sora looked at Captain Falcon.

"Sorry, I can't help you."

"What! But I got hit by a Bo-omb and a flaming mouse

today! You don't need to listen to that stupid authoress!"

Then a coconut PooFed out of nowhere and fell on Captain

Falcon's head, knocking him unconscious.

"I'm Coconut Carl! All bow down before me!" It yelled.

Kirby swallowed the coconut and smashed the ketchup bottle

on Falcon's head, knocking the unconscious man unconscious.

As Kirby left the room, Yoshi entered and laid an egg on Falcon's

head. Then Kirby came back and smashed the egg (still on Falcon's

head) with his hammer. Why? Because today was Bash Falcon

Day! But then again, everyday is Bash Falcon Day!

Captain Falcon laid on the floor, covered with bruises, cuts,

burns, and ketchup, and egg yolk on his head, while Sora, Marth,

Link, and Roy are playing Mario Kart: Double Dash, and Crazy

Hand was twitching on the floor from laughing too hard from

Captain Falcon being in a lot of pain.

_**A/N: This is my first story so I would appreciate any tips to **_

_**make this a better story. I'm also sorry I didn't put any other **_

_**characters in here but I promise I will find a place for them.**_

_**I may continue this but it depends on the reviews.**_

_**REVIEW PLEASE!**_


	2. Ch 2: Zeeky Boogy Doog

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, zip, nada. The only things I own are

the edible foods that talk (no, not Kirby you poopie-heads). And I

don't own anything that are going to appear from The Demented 

Cartoon Movie (stick figures whose heads explode when they say

"blah", the zeeky bomb, random H bombs, or the kamikaze

watermelon.) Pichu owns Lollipop Larry II.

**Chapter 2: ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG**

Pichu was walking down the hallway of Smash Mansion,

holding Lollipop Larry II protectively in her paws.

"Don't worry Larry, I won't let anything bad happen to you, I

promise", Pichu said to Lollipop Larry II.

Awwwww! How cute, but too bad the lollipop is going to die

anyway!

Then Bowser came along and saw Pichu holding a lollipop.

_Hmm. I wonder how many licks does it take to get to the _

_center of a tootsie pop. _He thought. _Well, there's only one way to find out._

Bowser swiped the lollipop from Pichu.

"Swiper, no swiping", said a random reader, but he was

quickly electrocuted to death by Pichu because Dora the Explorer

scares her.

Bowser licked the lollipop once… twice… three times! And

bit the lollipop's head off.

"NOOOO! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED LARRY!

NOOOOOOO!" Pichu screamed and started to sob. Bowser just

shrugged and walked away.

As Pichu continued to sob, Captain Falcon came by.

"Hey Pichu, why are you crying you crybaby?" Captain

Falcon started to jeer.

Pichu looked up, but instead of having those cute, big eyes,

she had evil, red, demon eyed and sharp little fangs.

"RAHHH!" She screeched and leapt at Captain Falcon's face,

mauling the frick out of it.

"AHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET THE

FRICKING THING OFF!" Captain Falcon was yelling and

screaming at the same time, and he was also running around like a

person who's getting his face mauled off by a rabid mouse.

Then Ganondorf ran in, yelling "Have no fear, the idiot is

here!" He then proceeded to try and get Pichu off by using his

Warlock Punch (I think that's his move), but Pichu moved just in

time, leaving Captain Falcon to be greeted by Ganondorf's fist.

The impact send Falcon crashing through the closed window,

falling on top of a random H bomb.

**KAAAAA-BOOOOM **went the H bomb. But since this is a

K+ rated story, Falcon doesn't die, but he's in a tremendous

amount of pain.

_With Sora and Roy_

Sora and Roy were laying on the grass, just outside the

Smash Mansion.

"Uh, I'm bored", said Sora.

"Uh, Me too", said Roy.

"I'm as bored as a board being bored on top of a board being

bored."

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Sure, what game?"

"I don't know."

So Sora and Roy were still laying on the grass, bored as a

board being bored on top of a board being bored.

"Oh I know!" Sora suddenly shouted, standing up, "Let's

play Toss the H Bomb."

"Yeah!" Roy also shouted, standing up.

Sora took a random H bomb out of his pocket and tossed it to

Roy, shouting "WEEEEEEE!"

But Roy accidentally threw the H bomb too far and an

explosion was heard, plus Falcon's cursing from being hit by the

bomb.

"Well now what do we do ?" Roy asked, staring at the

explosion.

"Hmm…" Sora started to think, until he saw Mr. Game and

Watch.

"You can help me kill that heartless", he said, pointing at Mr.

Game and Watch, mistaking him for a heartless.

"That's not a heartless, that's Mr. Game an-" Roy started to

say, but changed his mind, "sure I'll help you."

And so the two started chasing Mr. Game and Watch, who

wasbeeping all the way.

_With Captain Falcon_

Captain Falcon was having a difficult time getting to the

entrance of the mansion. After getting hit by two H bombs, well

actually he landed on one and got hit by the other one, Peach had

found him near her burnt rose garden and blamed him for the

destruction of her garden. She , Mario, and Luigi started beating

Captain Falcon into a blood pulp.

Falcon finally reached the door and when he opened it, a

kamikaze watermelon crashed into his face, shouting "WEEEEE!"

Ignoring all the water melon stuff on his face, Falcon attempted to

climb the stairs, into his room, but let's just say that will take a day

or so because of his condition.

Zelda was walking down the stairs, accidentally knocking

Falcon off the stairs, when the doorbell rang. She opened the door

and there stood a stick figure.

Smiling, Zelda said to the stick figure, "Hello, how are you?"

The stick figure stared at Zelda. It was just staring…

staring… staring… staring, until it said "Blah" and then its head

exploded off its body.

Still smiling, Zelda nodded her head saying, "Oh that's great,

come again sir." She then closed the door and walked away.

The doorbell rang again and this time Marth answered it.

When he opened the door, a kamikaze watermelon was

approaching fast, shouting "WEEEEEEEE!"

"AHHHHHH! That watermelon is attacking! DUCK!"

Marth shouted and ducked just in time as the watermelon zoomed

over his head and crashed into the back of Falcon's head. Taking

one last look outside, Marth quickly shuts the door and runs away.

The doorbell rang again and Link answered it. When he

opened the door, there stood another stick figure, holding a

package. Link looked at the stick figure.

"Um, hi can I help you?" He asked the stick figure. The stick

figure just handed him the package.

"Oh, thanks", he said to the stick figure. The figure said

nothing. It just stared at Link, just staring… staring… staring…

staring…staring, until it said "Blah" and its head exploded off its

body.

Shrugging, Link closed the door. He looked at the package.

" 'To Captain Falcon'", he read aloud. "Hey Falcon! Catch!"

Link threw the package to Captain Falcon, who miraculously,

caught it.

"To me, hmm. Wow! I'm loved." Captain Falcon said as he

opens the package to reveal a box. He opens the box and out comes

a zeeky bomb.

"?" said Falcon

"Zeeky Boogy Doog", the bomb quickly says and then

explodes in Falcon's face

_Outside_

Banana Bob II and Coconut Carl II were making their way

towards the Smash Mansion.

"I shall avenge my brother!" Banana Bob II yelled.

"And we shall rule the world!" Shouted Coconut Carl II.

They both laughed evilly. Then an ant crosses their path.

"Hey, look an ant!" Coconut Carl II shouted.

"Wait a minute, that's no ant", Banana Bob II observed.

The screen zooms in on the ant and it turned out to be a zeeky

bomb.

"Zeeky Boogy Doog", it said quickly and then explodes, burning the two talking fruits into oblivion.

**_A/N: Wow, this took quite awhile to write._**

_**REVIEW PLEASE!**_


	3. Ch3: Falcon's Blue Falcon

_**Thanks for the reviews! Sorry it took long to update, school got in the way.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that shows up on Super Smash Bros. Melee, only Nintedo does. Lucky ducks. I also don't own chocobos or moogles, only Square Enix does. Even lukier ducks. Pichu owns all the lollipops that appear in the story. He's the luckiest duck of all.**_

**Chapter 2: Falcon's Blue Falcon**

Bowser was walking across the lawn in front of the Smash Mansion, singing a... well I think it's a song. Well let's just hear what he's singing:

"_If you want to be my hot dog_

_You're gonna have to have some cheese,_

_Maybe a little bit of mustard,_

_And won't you pass the ketchup pleeease."_

Until he was so rudely interrupted by the fag of all faggots, gayest of all gays, pansies of all pansies... **CAPTAIN FALCON!**

"Dude, your singing sucks. Anyways can I have some turtle wax for my car?" Captain Falcon asked Bowser.

After he said this, you can tell that Bowser was extremely pissed off because he started breathing fire and smoke was coming out of his nose. And why is he so pissed off? Well, here are the reasons:

**1. **Captain Faggot interrupted his singing

**2.** Captain Gay said that his singing sucks

**3.** Captain Pansy asked him...** FOR TURTLE WAX!** Which is stupid to ask because Bowser is kind of half turtle and half dinosaur, I think, and he was pretty much insulted.

"**ROOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!"** Bowser said... roared... whatever!

He grabbed Captain Falcon/Faggot/Gay/Pansy and, what do you think? He beats the living frick out of the gay captain!

Captain Falcon, now a bloody pulp, just lays on the ground. He looks pretty miserable, you almost feel sorry for him...**NOT!**

_With the Blue Falcon_

The Blue Falcon, just sitting there in it's shining glory, doesn't have a single dent, scratch, or anything else you would see wrong with a car. Yep, the Blue Falcon was perfect, just perfect...

**BUT ALL THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE!**

Roy, Marth, and Link were playing football, right near Falcon's beloved car. Roy had the football in possession and was making his way towards the end zone where the Blue Falcon, conveniently, lies.

"**TOUCH DOWN!**" Roy shouted to the heavens, as he jumps onto the car, slamming the football on it, and leaving a dent as a result.

"**TAKE THAT WOMENS!"** Roy taunted both Marth and Link. You can tell they were pissed off because their faces were red with anger (what do you think their faces were red with? Constipation?) and they were unsheathing their swords... why are they carrying swords while playing football? Won't they stab themselves or worse... the football?

With a shout, Marth did his Shield Breaker, missing Roy but cutting Blue Falcon in half. Link destroyed the windshield of the car for no reason whatsoever.

As the two chase Roy, Pikachu runs for his life, for a certain lollipop obsessed-rabid mouse was chasing him down.

"**I SHALL KILL YOU! I SHALL AVENGE LOLLIPOP LARRY III AND HIS SISTER, LOLLIPOP LAULINA!**" Pichu screeched as she chases Pikachu.

She tries electrocuting Pikachu, but the attack misses and hits the Blue Falcon, causing it to explode.

"**ROAAAAAAAARRRRR!"** Pichu scroared... hehe scream... roar... scroar. XD

As she chases the lollipop murdering mouse, Bowser appears, with a Bob-omb in each claw.

"My singing sucks, does it? Well, this will show that stupid captain!" Bowser roars as he throws the Bob-ombs at the messed up car, making it even more messed up when they expldode.

"**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA**cough**HA**cough**HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**" Bowser laughed evilly,

like an evil person who did something evilly evil. "And now, I'll practice my singing."

As he storms off in a random direction, Captain Falcon appears with turtle wax in his hand.

"Who knew that Jigglypuff had turtle wax?" Captain Falcon said, oblivious to the wreckage of his beloved car. As he applies the wax to the car, still oblivious to the destruction, he rambles on, "Maybe she used to drive. But then where's her car?"

As he steps back to admire his car, he now relizes the damage.

"**GREAT GOOGLE MOOGLE! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BELOVED CAR!" **He exlcaims, pretty loudly too. Then a moogle appears out of nowhere.

"Don't say our names in vain, kupo!" The moogle exclaims. The moogle took out a whistle and blew into it. Next thing Captain Falcon knew was that a stampede of chocobos were trampling him and his beloved car, half to death.

**_Thank you Mullenium Master for the idea of this chapter._**

**_What do you think of the story? If you review, I'll give you this nifty sledgehammer to destroy Captain Falcon's magically fixed car. Sorry if the chapter was short. Please forgive me. _**

_**Next chapter: Crazy Hand makes a Captain Falcon voodoo doll. What will happen if all the smashers gets their hands/claws/paws/wings on it? Will it hurt Captain Falcon? YOU BET IT WILL!**_

_**REEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! please.**_


	4. Ch 4: Voodoo Mayhem prt1

_**Sorry it took so long to update. I think my teachers are trying to kill me by drowning me in homework.**_

**_Disclaimer: Do I have to repeat myself? Things from Super Smash Bros. Melee I don't own. Pichu will and always will own any lollipops from this story. _**

**Chapter 4: Voodoo Mayhem: Part 1**

Crazy Hand was busy making something in the middle of the night, in his room, aka the attic, which had to be locked up every night for everyones' safety.

**"I'vE DonE iT! i'Ve CreATeD tHE uLTImaTE wEApon!"** Crazy Hand roared into the ceiling, waking up any smashers unfortunate enough to have a room below him.

"**SHUT UP!" **Shouted Zelda, who was the unfortunate one to have a room below the attic.

"**wHy DOn't YoU mAKe mE?"** Crazy Hand shouted back.

Well it was nice knowing Crazy Hand.

Using Farore's Wind, Zelda teleported to Crazy Hand's attic, threw a shoe at him, and then teleported back to her room. The shoe made contact with Crazy Hand's head...finger? Well, it hit him, knocking the poor glove unconscious. Too bad he was only unconscious for a second.

"wOW, tHAt hUrt", Crazy Hand said._ nOTe tO SeLF, nEvER pISs OfF zELda, _he thought. "nOW tO sEe iF ThIS tHIng wORks." He picked up the "ultimate weapon" he was talking about. The "ultimate weapon" turned out to be... a Captain Falcon voodoo doll! Crazy Hand pinched the left arm of the doll and waited for a result.

_Captain Falcon's room_

Captain Falcon was sleeping in Barney pajamas and was cuddling a Mr. Saturn. He was also talking in his sleep, saying "Of course I'll marry you Barney", and proceeded to kiss the Mr. Saturn, until he felt a tremendous amount of pain throughout his left arm.

He literally shot out of bed, hitting his head on the ceiling and getting it stuck in the progress. Unfortunately, (or fortunately if you don't like Captain Falcon) his head went through the celing and into Samus's bedroom, which was right above his room.

Waking up with a start, Samus clapped her hands to turn on those lights that are clap activated... those things are so coooool! Once the lights turned on, she was so pissed off, it appeared that her hair was a mass of blazing inferno... yeah, she's really, really, really, really **PISSED OFF!** And why, you ask? If you had read the paragraph above this paragraph, you would understand why she is pissed off.

Retrieving her sledge hammer...of **DOOM, DEATH, and DESTRUCTION** from under her bed, she started a game called Wack-a-(a mean name you would call Captain Falcon), by bringing the sledge hammer...of **DOOM, DEATH, and DESTRUCTION** down on Captain Falcon's head, sending him back from whence he came...his room, with walls covered with posters of Barney and the Telletubies.

_Crazy Hand's room (aka, the attic)_

Hearing a faint yell, Crazy Hand smiled... wait a minute, can gloves smile?

**"YeS! iT WoRkED!" **Crazy Hand boomed into the ceiling once more only to be hit by a very big, heavy boot thrown by Zelda. It knocked him unconscious for only a second.

_oKay, NoW tHAt jUSt HuRT VeRy, VEry baD _Crazy Hand thought. _NoW tHAt i kNoW mY ulTImATe wEAPon wORkS, i ThINk It'S tIMe tO gO tO bEd. eVen SmArt, nORmAL pEoPLE nEeD_

_tO sLEeP._

Dropping the Captain Falcon voodoo doll on a nearby desk, Crazy Hand looked at the rest of his voodoo dolls that he made. Unlike the Captain Falcon voodoo doll, which actually looked like the real Captain Falcon, the other voodoo dolls didn't even resemble the people they were made after.

Some had legs growing out of their heads, others had heads where their butt is supposed to be. One even had a lollipop as a head.

_nOw WhY CaN't ThESe WoRK? _Crazy Hand thought. _oH wELl. tOMoRRoW, i'lL SHoW ThE SmAsHErS tHat i, cRAzY hANd, aM NoT CraZY._

Crazy Hand fell asleep on his bed, looking forward to showing the smashers his ultimate weapon so they wouldn't think of him as crazy anymore.

As Crazy Hand slept, knowing nothing bad would happen to his ultimate weapon, a bird flew in through the window (that Crazy Hand forgot to close) and flew back out, carrying the Captain Falcon voodoo doll. As the bird flew, it accidently drops the voodoo doll on Peach's thorn bush, stabbing the doll.

_Captain Falcon's room_

**"OUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!" **Captain Falcon exclaimed. Then the sledge hammer... of **DEATH, DOOM, and DESTRUCTION** fell from the hole in his ceiling, hitting him in the head, and knocking him unconscious for the rest of the night.

**_So how do you like it? I'll update the second part soon when I'm not drowning in homework. I also have this riddle you can answer in your review:_**

_There is this crime that if you attempt it, it's punishable and if you commit it it's not punishable. What is this crime?_

_**I wanted to show this riddle because I wanted to see what everyone's answer is going to be.**_

_**REVIEW please!**_


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